An argument for cutting your hair at home

THERE COMES A TIME in every man’s life when he starts to suspect that his barber is, in fact, running a racket. Forty dollars for a short back and sides, a casual $10 extra if scissors are involved, and another fiver if you’d like them to throw in some wax or spray something that smells vaguely of lemon on your fringe. Multiply that by twelve annual visits and you could have financed a weekend away.

It is in this moment of economic clarity (or stinginess, depending on your outlook) that a dangerous thought arises: I could do this myself, or at least, find someone willing to do it for free. The logic feels airtight. Clippers aren’t expensive. Hair grows back. You’re a modern man – you once assembled a flat-pack Ikea wardrobe all on your own. Surely, taking a little off the top can’t be much harder than that.

I had this moment of clarity after my last barbershop haircut. I, like most men, like my hair a particular way. Unfortunately, it is difficult to communicate the specifics of my desired cut to a barber. I’ve never had a regular barber, instead I’ve spent 20+ years drifting from place to place. As a result, no barber really understands how I like my hair. I tend to show them a picture of myself where I’m satisfied with my trim, but more often than not, they leave me wondering if they saw the picture properly. Case in point, my last cut was way too short.

But of course, when the barber holds up that little mirror and asks, ‘What do you think, boss?’ the only acceptable response is ‘Looks great, cheers mate’.

So, I decided I’d try something different: cutting my hair at home, with the assistance of my amiable partner. I was fairly confident I could get the same – if not better – result of a barbershop haircut, for a lot cheaper. Of course, hubris has always been a male speciality. Still, the argument deserved a fair trial. Is cutting your own hair the act of a man with a sound fiscal mind and a desire to break the shackles of the monthly trip to the barber? Or is it merely another way of broadcasting to the world that you’re a tight arse who’d rather embarrass himself than fork out for a proper haircut?

First, the money. As we’ve established, barbers are expensive. Even the humble short back and sides will set you back the cost of a decent bottle of wine. I picked up a Wahl ‘Elite Pro Barber Corded Haircutting Kit’ for $99 (albeit while it was on sale), which should work out to be cheaper than visiting a barber after just two or three cuts.

Second, the convenience. When you cut your hair at home, there’s no need to take time out of your day to visit the barber. No need to book a slot online. No pretending to be interested in your barber’s dubious opinions on various unsavoury topics. No waiting in an endless line.

Third, the empowerment. A DIY cut is the grooming equivalent of cooking a steak at home instead of going out: maybe you don’t nail it every time, but at least you saved some money doing it. Plus, you can cut it (or cook it, since we’re sticking with that analogy) any way you like. There’s no chance of what you really want getting lost in translation.

Let’s not pretend you – or whoever is cutting your hair at home – is Vidal Sassoon. The risk of an embarrassing mishap is much higher. Before my experiment, I was prepared to buzz my entire head if something went wrong.

There’s also the difficulty of pulling off more intricate haircuts. I’m a simple short back and sides plus a little off the top kind of man, but if you want something more complicated, there’s a good chance a barber who has trained for years to blend, taper and texturise is more likely to pull it off.

Another factor is the loss of the romanticised barbershop experience. Like I said, I’ve never experienced this myself, having never stuck with a barber long enough to develop a rapport, but for many, the barber’s chair is one of the last bastions of ritualised masculinity. The leather, the hum of clippers, the bro-ish sense of community – it’s all lost if you trade it for your own bathroom.

Lastly, while you absolutely can cut your own hair, it’s much easier if you have someone else do it for you, for the more technical aspects. Being able to find someone willing to lend a hand is a pretty big caveat – and you also can’t complain about the end result, no matter what, or they’ll never help you again.

So, should you cut your hair at home? Far be it from me to tank an entire industry, but I think I’ll be sticking to cutting my hair at home from now on. I was happy with the result of my experiment. I didn’t do anything too complicated, but the end outcome was practically as good as what I’d get from a barber – full credit to my partner for that.

I would still recommend visiting a barber when you need a cut that’s more technical. Or, in a happy compromise, cut your hair at home 80 per cent of the time for touch ups and minor adjustments, and go to a barber when you need something more comprehensive.

But if you find an at-home haircut to be too difficult, there’s no shame in admitting your mistake, supporting your local barber and revelling in the knowledge that some things are best left to professionals. Either way, hair grows back. The only thing at risk is your pride.