Tom Derrickx in his Sydney studio
Musician Tom Derickx in his Sydney studio. Photography: Arvin Prem Kumar

IT’S HARD TO imagine Tom Derickx feeling nervous. From playing professional AFL with the Sydney Swans to walking the runway for David Jones, he’s no stranger to high-pressure situations. But as the former ruckman folds himself into a small chair inside this modest recording studio – also a creative hideout for Australian musicians Peking Duck and Gang of Youths – he hesitates, glancing nervously around the room before admitting he’s feeling uneasy.

The first track of his EP, ‘Hollow Man,’ is his most courageous song to date. “I was nervous earlier because it’s about my ex-girlfriend – not so much about her, but about how she treated me with the purest care and support during a tricky time in my life.”

“She taught me how to provide a safe space for difficult conversations, which must have been hard for her because I was in such a tough spot emotionally and mentally. But she made me feel comfortable during those conversations. I learned a lot from her, and the song is about those lessons in creating a safe space,” he explains.

As he plays the song on acoustic guitar, it’s clear that while he says it isn’t a love song, but a gratitude song, it draws on a deeper well of life experience. So, who is the ‘Hollow Man’?

“I came out of professional football and was reliant on alcohol and prescription medication to numb some of the feelings around my sense of purpose. In that lack of direction after football, when you rely on those things, you don’t experience emotional extremes. You’re just sort of plateauing along – you don’t feel intense sadness or nerves, but you also don’t feel happiness or any pure emotion.”

Eventually, Derickx found relief in choosing not to rely on his passion as a source of income, rather, treating it as an outlet for expression. Once he no longer felt that weight of expectation, he was able to focus on creating music that truly resonated with him.

“Music became a way to make money, so I could do it full time,” he explains. “But then it gets tricky – you start getting desperate. Each song or show becomes about bringing in money, and that takes away from the creative side of songwriting. You end up writing for the wrong reasons. Now, though, I’ve found a great balance, and it’s made a huge difference.”

As Derickx continues to evolve personally and professionally, he reflects on the journey that brought him here. From the adrenaline of the AFL to the creative freedom of music, his path has been anything but conventional. 

Originally a carpenter from Dunsborough, Western Australia, Derickx and his best friend released a series of dance-floor beats under the name Kayex after he retired from professional sport due to injury. These days, he’s balancing life as a tradie and a musician. “My belief is you have to buy in. It’s not just about the song itself; it’s also about the content you create around it to gain attention. However, I believe the focus will eventually return to valuing the product.”

“I’ve been trying to focus on this over the last year – surrounding myself with good people and working with good people. It doesn’t really matter what you’re doing as long as you’re doing it with good people.”

One thing is clear: Derickx isn’t shying away from the difficult questions. Despite his nerves, he exudes a quiet confidence that comes from embracing all seasons of life, including the highs and the lows. 

Related:

Esquire Studio Sessions: Dylan Mooney takes us inside ‘The Story Of My People

Esquire Studio Sessions: behind the scenes of Shaun Daniel Allen’s new solo show

Esquire Studio Sessions: pro surfer Dion Agius takes us behind the scenes of his first art collection